My beautiful mother-in-law…she turned 90 years old in November and it was while attending her 90th birthday celebration in November that we realized that her “forgetfulness” was really dementia.  She brought her four boys up attending the local Methodist church, but she was raised a Christian Scientist and those beliefs still have a hold on her. She does not like going to the doctor and has avoided them as much as possible in her later years.
Mom had a happy marriage, full of the usual ups and downs, but she and my husband’s father had a good life. They had four sons whom they cherished, loved, and celebrated as unique individuals.  She became a widow 20 years ago and 15 years ago found love again with a widower who lives nearby. She has been truly blessed in loving and being loved by two truly good men.
Now we watch this lovely, graceful woman as she battles dementia. We feel blessed that she is happy and that she laughs at her memory lapses, she isn’t angry or distressed. We are happy she still knows us and trusts us.  As the fog of this disease shrouds her mind, there are still moments when she seems like her old self. And, there are moments when I think she knows exactly what is happening.  As we talked after a wonderful Saturday morning brunch, she said, “I don’t remember my age, but I know I am really getting old”, and she seemed content in that knowledge. After all, she has led a happy life.
As we said our goodbyes, the twinkling eyes and lovely smile are still there. I hope they will be there the next time we see her. How I will miss them if they are not.